Scary

I am real world Scary.

Most people who meet me today wouldn't agree with the above statement. Sure, I'm a big guy and I look a bit intimidating, but scary, probably not.

Well, most of the people who meet me today don't have all the facts. There is evidence that they are not privy to. I want to make sure it is all on the table…..

When I was young, before I had the experiences that would shape the person I am today, there were people who didn't like to look into my eyes. For the record, they are brown, not black as these people claimed. If there is something that causes some to shy away, it is not by intent. But more than one refused to deal with me, claimed there was something not right……

Still, I moved on through life. I met people, knew people….. In some I found friendship, in others I found avarice. I seemed to engender fierce love and fierce hate and little in between.
Before you make your decision, there are a few things you should know about me….

I don't know you. But I have seen more people die than you know. Not that you have seen die…..than….you….know. Even just passing acquaintances.

I have tried to hold an artery together as the last drops of a life slid over my fingers. I have been still pushing my breath into dead lungs when the doctor called the time of death and tapped me on the shoulder.

I have dragged suicides from their cars, beds and tubs.
Unless you are a wartime medic or you work in an ER, I have seen 100 times more death than you will ever see in your lifetime.

But then…..

I have struck life into many whose hearts had ceased to beat. I have held strangers close to me in a mangled car as they are cut out…… and I have been the one doing the cutting. I have brought children into this world…. I hope more than I have seen leave it….But I lost count somewhere along the way. I have put my life in peril to save the life of someone who would not know me on the street a month later…..

But it goes beyond that…….

I have faced many, many people with destruction in their hearts. I have faced people with murder, and pain as their most closely held desire. Reason had left them, and they only wanted to strike out, cause mayhem, cause grave harm….

I have taken these people and smashed their faces into walls, broken their bones, bent their joints at unnatural angles, caused them pain to a point where they lost their rage, lost their desire, where they could think of nothing more than doing whatever they could to make the pain stop….. What could they do to get away from me…..

And still it goes on……

I have stood in the face of a blazing inferno. Heat blasting to a level that would turn human lungs to brittle paper in an instant. Heat that melted the reflective safety markings on my fireman's helmet. I have walked upright into that dragon. Found the remaining pocket of breathable air, found the life still clinging there, and bore it to safety. I have returned to the beasts lair, with no other purpose than to lay it low, stop its advance, end its life…..

And yet, I stand before you today…….

Perhaps I am frightening to some because they see in my eyes that which cannot be erased. Perhaps I am of comfort to others for the same reason.
If you find me frightening, I won't hold it against you. I won't mind. It is valid.
If you find my friendship comforting, I won't mind that either. There is something to be said for making sure you are on the winning team.

XTIAN